Monday, October 4, 2004
The Big Girl remains very ill. The Mom is recuperating from our many trips up and down the mountain.
It's been a week and a day since I've written here but only a matter of hours since I've wanted to write. Life has demanded my attention in other directions.
My mother's blood pressure is on the high side. I'm sure that it is a reaction to our incessant trips to close out and sell the Mesa home, the last of which was Friday. Although she sometimes forgets The Big Girl's distress she is reacting to this, as well, especially since we are now at the point of reevaluating The Big Girl's treatment and I am trying to decide on an hour by hour basis whether to put The Big Girl down. My mother is very uncomfortable with the idea of pet euthanization, which is funny because she is not adverse to human euthanization. I try not to discuss the matter with her but sometimes, when The Big Girl comes out to be with the family then exhibits some sort of behavior or symptom that appears to make it clear that she hasn't much more time with us, my mother is reminded of her plight and euthanization once again becomes the topic of discussion and of Mom's distress.
Mom is retaining a little fluid, especially evident in her feet. I began controlling this with a low dose of furosemide yesterday, which worked fairly well but may not have been high enough to handle the entire problem. I'll be reevaluating the dose today.
I made an appointment to put The Big Girl down on Saturday at 1430 p.m. In order to accomplish this and accede to my mother's wishes that she not be asked to accompany us to the death chamber, I put The Big Girl in her cage at 1400 and prepared Mom for a nap. At 1410, once Mom was down, I decided to take The Big Girl, in her cage, out into our very sunny living room so she could enjoy one of her favorite things for the last minutes that she remained in our home. By the time I entered my bedroom where her cage was sitting she was pushing back the upper last lock on her cage with her head and crawling out the top. At that point it was beyond me to put her down. I decided to simply allow her to continue, throughout the weekend here at home, doing whatever she wants without the added torture of trying to force feed her and force medication down her throat. Friday evening's feeding and medication session were so torturous for her that my mother finally pleaded with me to stop and leave her alone, which I gladly did. She is still eating and drinking far too little, even of the people food I am preparing for her to tempt her to eat. Her spirit, however, remains strong and she goes about enjoying her favorite activities in a luxurious manner. Each night when we all retire I expect that she will be dead by morning. Each morning she awakens before I do and accompanies The Little Girl and me out to the kitchen to prepare for the day. If necessary, my intention, at this point, is to allow her to either recover or die in her own home at her desire.
Time to shower before I awaken The Mom and get her day started. For awhile my reports here may be few and far between but I'll try to report the important goings on in a timely manner.
My mother's blood pressure is on the high side. I'm sure that it is a reaction to our incessant trips to close out and sell the Mesa home, the last of which was Friday. Although she sometimes forgets The Big Girl's distress she is reacting to this, as well, especially since we are now at the point of reevaluating The Big Girl's treatment and I am trying to decide on an hour by hour basis whether to put The Big Girl down. My mother is very uncomfortable with the idea of pet euthanization, which is funny because she is not adverse to human euthanization. I try not to discuss the matter with her but sometimes, when The Big Girl comes out to be with the family then exhibits some sort of behavior or symptom that appears to make it clear that she hasn't much more time with us, my mother is reminded of her plight and euthanization once again becomes the topic of discussion and of Mom's distress.
Mom is retaining a little fluid, especially evident in her feet. I began controlling this with a low dose of furosemide yesterday, which worked fairly well but may not have been high enough to handle the entire problem. I'll be reevaluating the dose today.
I made an appointment to put The Big Girl down on Saturday at 1430 p.m. In order to accomplish this and accede to my mother's wishes that she not be asked to accompany us to the death chamber, I put The Big Girl in her cage at 1400 and prepared Mom for a nap. At 1410, once Mom was down, I decided to take The Big Girl, in her cage, out into our very sunny living room so she could enjoy one of her favorite things for the last minutes that she remained in our home. By the time I entered my bedroom where her cage was sitting she was pushing back the upper last lock on her cage with her head and crawling out the top. At that point it was beyond me to put her down. I decided to simply allow her to continue, throughout the weekend here at home, doing whatever she wants without the added torture of trying to force feed her and force medication down her throat. Friday evening's feeding and medication session were so torturous for her that my mother finally pleaded with me to stop and leave her alone, which I gladly did. She is still eating and drinking far too little, even of the people food I am preparing for her to tempt her to eat. Her spirit, however, remains strong and she goes about enjoying her favorite activities in a luxurious manner. Each night when we all retire I expect that she will be dead by morning. Each morning she awakens before I do and accompanies The Little Girl and me out to the kitchen to prepare for the day. If necessary, my intention, at this point, is to allow her to either recover or die in her own home at her desire.
Time to shower before I awaken The Mom and get her day started. For awhile my reports here may be few and far between but I'll try to report the important goings on in a timely manner.
