Friday, September 17, 2004
When my mother has a period of improvement...
...MFS always laughs devilishly and says, "Scary, isn't it?!?" Yes, sometimes, it is scary to contemplate that I might just keep the old woman going into my Ancient years. Mom and I have a running joke about that: Sometimes in the evenings of a hectic day I'll laboriously rise from the floor, leaning on the arm of her rocking chair for support, and say, "Mom, I'm gettin' old."
"You sure are, Gail. I feel sorry for you."
"What's gonna happen when I'm older than you?"
"We'll sure be in trouble then, won't we?"
We both laugh.
I think, though, my saving grace (and, perhaps, my mother's too) is that I never think, too long and too hard about how long I'll be with her (or, to be more accurate, how long she'll be with me and with the world) and what I'll do "after". I already know that taking it day by day and comparing the present only with pasts, not futures, is the way to greet everything that happens with a freshness equal to the event. This is what works when caring for an Ancient One. Being here. Now. Even if your Ancient One is someplace else at the moment. If you're here, not wandering in fearful futures or open-to-interpretation pasts, then each day works.
Anyway, the point of all this is to announce, another interesting exercise session today with interesting results...take a look if you're curious about following my mother's development.
Probably...later.
"You sure are, Gail. I feel sorry for you."
"What's gonna happen when I'm older than you?"
"We'll sure be in trouble then, won't we?"
We both laugh.
I think, though, my saving grace (and, perhaps, my mother's too) is that I never think, too long and too hard about how long I'll be with her (or, to be more accurate, how long she'll be with me and with the world) and what I'll do "after". I already know that taking it day by day and comparing the present only with pasts, not futures, is the way to greet everything that happens with a freshness equal to the event. This is what works when caring for an Ancient One. Being here. Now. Even if your Ancient One is someplace else at the moment. If you're here, not wandering in fearful futures or open-to-interpretation pasts, then each day works.
Anyway, the point of all this is to announce, another interesting exercise session today with interesting results...take a look if you're curious about following my mother's development.
Probably...later.
