Wednesday, August 4, 2004
Since the first day of my mother's ongoing hospital stay...
...when it was determined that she would be prescribed short term skilled nursing facility care to rehabilitate her body, I've been making sure that she understands that she is not being "relegated" to a nursing home. I have assured her that this is rather like training camp...a place for her to put some intense, directed, supported effort into strengthening herself. She hasn't thought otherwise, thank the gods. She knows that her stay will be short term. The exact length with be guessed tomorrow when she arrives there and is evaluated by the physical therapy cadre.
I made sure while talking to the doctor who signed the recommendation that, unlike the nurse said, she is not going there for "diabetic control", her diabetes is already under control. She is not going there for "dementia therapy"; although she is definitely mentally creative at this time in her life, she is not in need of therapy for this. She is not going in for anemia control; her anemia, as it turns out, is pretty much under control, much to my surprise, and was so on the day we arrived at the ER. I felt as though I needed to verify this with the professionals recommending this type of care. I did not want her care to be misdirected, nor did I want recommendation to follow recommendation ad infinitum until it would be almost impossible to bring her home. The nurse, who graciously stood corrected, also was careful to mention to me that her therapy is voluntary and can be ended at any time. Good. If it begins to look as though too many people are profiting from her therapy and she is not, she comes home, regardless of what has or has not been accomplished. I will not allow her to languish in the hands of well meaning therapists who are bound to see her first in terms of her age and second in terms of her spirit.
I will be keeping a close eye on her, as will MPS & MPBIL. I'm going to try not to visit every day. I want to encourage the intensity of her therapy and I do not want to accidentally stand in the way of her ability to perform to high standards for others, as she tends not to do for me. I want to allow myself, as well, to express delighted surprise at what I expect will be her development and success. Daily visits tend to make surprise less possible. As well, I want her to take full advantage, according to her desire, of the social opportunities the facility has to offer. I think this will be good for her. Although she's never been a terribly social person, she does have a certain magnetism that draws people to her. Over the last few years it has been very, very difficult to get her out and talking to people. My sense, from talking to the facility administrator, is that people contact is not only encouraged but, well, forgive the repetition, "facilitated". I believe this would be reviving for her spirit and would help jump start her interest in life outside of our home. This would be good for both of us. As well as family, MCFs, who my mother and I consider important informal family, live close by. I know they will be interested in dropping in on her. I'm hoping this SNF episode will be the best thing that has happened to her in a long time.
I've told her that I am counting on her developing her strength so that we can mix, easily, with our community again.
And, I am dead on my ass and need some sleep. Tomorrow is coming very early. So, just the facts, m'am.
The fact is, I've become so used to us sleeping in the same home, listening to her breathing through her life, that I have had trouble sleeping over these last few nights without her here. I told her this today. She smiled and said, "I never have trouble sleeping." I'm smiling, a huge smile, as I remember her saying this. That's my mom. I love you, my dear. Sleep well tonight, as usual. We have an important job to do that begins tomorrow.
I made sure while talking to the doctor who signed the recommendation that, unlike the nurse said, she is not going there for "diabetic control", her diabetes is already under control. She is not going there for "dementia therapy"; although she is definitely mentally creative at this time in her life, she is not in need of therapy for this. She is not going in for anemia control; her anemia, as it turns out, is pretty much under control, much to my surprise, and was so on the day we arrived at the ER. I felt as though I needed to verify this with the professionals recommending this type of care. I did not want her care to be misdirected, nor did I want recommendation to follow recommendation ad infinitum until it would be almost impossible to bring her home. The nurse, who graciously stood corrected, also was careful to mention to me that her therapy is voluntary and can be ended at any time. Good. If it begins to look as though too many people are profiting from her therapy and she is not, she comes home, regardless of what has or has not been accomplished. I will not allow her to languish in the hands of well meaning therapists who are bound to see her first in terms of her age and second in terms of her spirit.
I will be keeping a close eye on her, as will MPS & MPBIL. I'm going to try not to visit every day. I want to encourage the intensity of her therapy and I do not want to accidentally stand in the way of her ability to perform to high standards for others, as she tends not to do for me. I want to allow myself, as well, to express delighted surprise at what I expect will be her development and success. Daily visits tend to make surprise less possible. As well, I want her to take full advantage, according to her desire, of the social opportunities the facility has to offer. I think this will be good for her. Although she's never been a terribly social person, she does have a certain magnetism that draws people to her. Over the last few years it has been very, very difficult to get her out and talking to people. My sense, from talking to the facility administrator, is that people contact is not only encouraged but, well, forgive the repetition, "facilitated". I believe this would be reviving for her spirit and would help jump start her interest in life outside of our home. This would be good for both of us. As well as family, MCFs, who my mother and I consider important informal family, live close by. I know they will be interested in dropping in on her. I'm hoping this SNF episode will be the best thing that has happened to her in a long time.
I've told her that I am counting on her developing her strength so that we can mix, easily, with our community again.
And, I am dead on my ass and need some sleep. Tomorrow is coming very early. So, just the facts, m'am.
The fact is, I've become so used to us sleeping in the same home, listening to her breathing through her life, that I have had trouble sleeping over these last few nights without her here. I told her this today. She smiled and said, "I never have trouble sleeping." I'm smiling, a huge smile, as I remember her saying this. That's my mom. I love you, my dear. Sleep well tonight, as usual. We have an important job to do that begins tomorrow.
