Wednesday, July 28, 2004
Quickly, before I awaken Mom...
...The Little Girl (one of our cats) was sleeping with Mom this morning when I awoke a little less than an hour ago. This is a good sign. The cats have been avoiding her bed in the morning because it smells like urine, I'm sure, probably "sick" urine. Although I noticed she'd leaked as usual this didn't seem to bother The Little Girl.
At 0445 this morning I awoke on the floor of Mom's bedroom. She was staring at me. She asked me indignantly why I was sleeping on her floor. I explained. She said, "Don't you sleep better in your own room?"
I knew where she was heading. "Yes," I said.
"Well, why don't you go back there?"
"I think I will," I said. "The sun will be pouring in your window soon, and you know I'm not a sun person."
"I know," she said. "I'll be fine. Go sleep in your own bed."
I did.
It occurred to me that maybe I should get her up then since maybe her awakening was a sign that, having gone to bed so early, she was ready to arise. I wasn't looking forward to doing this as this would have meant I would have gotten about four hours' sleep. But I put my figurative shoulder to the literal Mom and said before I left her alone, "You've slept for a good eight and a half hours, Mom. Maybe we should get you up."
"Maybe we shouldn't," she said.
I left here there to sleep. I'm still not sure I did "the right thing" by her. The more she sleeps the harder it is for her to move in the morning. I am very little good to her, though, when I'm running on empty so I headed into my room.
Time, now, to get her up. I'm both expecting and hoping for a good day. I still haven't decided whether we're going for the blood draw or to the ER or if we're just going to hang out here today. I'll figure that out soon enough.
One comment. This morning when I brought up the ISP home page through which I click into this profile my eye was caught by one word in the daily horoscope that my ISP offers, among other things, on their home page. I never read it, never even notice it but this morning I noticed the word "wait" and stopped to read it. It said something about not making decisions today about a "pressing family matter", to "wait", the "matter" will be "close to resolving itself tomorrow". Hmmm...I wondered, this must be for yesterday as it reminded me of my frantic indecision last night. I checked the date. It was for today. I used to read horoscopes a lot some time ago but haven't for more than a few years, having stopped when I realized they made little sense to my role as my mother's caregiver. This one, though, made some sense. I don't think it was "the stars" so much as maybe an intelligent universe saying to me, "We took note of your frenzy last night, heard what you had to say. Calm down. Everything will be all right."
I'm calm. One way or another, everything is always all right, a least this is what my mother assures me.
Time to awaken an all right Mom.
Later.
At 0445 this morning I awoke on the floor of Mom's bedroom. She was staring at me. She asked me indignantly why I was sleeping on her floor. I explained. She said, "Don't you sleep better in your own room?"
I knew where she was heading. "Yes," I said.
"Well, why don't you go back there?"
"I think I will," I said. "The sun will be pouring in your window soon, and you know I'm not a sun person."
"I know," she said. "I'll be fine. Go sleep in your own bed."
I did.
It occurred to me that maybe I should get her up then since maybe her awakening was a sign that, having gone to bed so early, she was ready to arise. I wasn't looking forward to doing this as this would have meant I would have gotten about four hours' sleep. But I put my figurative shoulder to the literal Mom and said before I left her alone, "You've slept for a good eight and a half hours, Mom. Maybe we should get you up."
"Maybe we shouldn't," she said.
I left here there to sleep. I'm still not sure I did "the right thing" by her. The more she sleeps the harder it is for her to move in the morning. I am very little good to her, though, when I'm running on empty so I headed into my room.
Time, now, to get her up. I'm both expecting and hoping for a good day. I still haven't decided whether we're going for the blood draw or to the ER or if we're just going to hang out here today. I'll figure that out soon enough.
One comment. This morning when I brought up the ISP home page through which I click into this profile my eye was caught by one word in the daily horoscope that my ISP offers, among other things, on their home page. I never read it, never even notice it but this morning I noticed the word "wait" and stopped to read it. It said something about not making decisions today about a "pressing family matter", to "wait", the "matter" will be "close to resolving itself tomorrow". Hmmm...I wondered, this must be for yesterday as it reminded me of my frantic indecision last night. I checked the date. It was for today. I used to read horoscopes a lot some time ago but haven't for more than a few years, having stopped when I realized they made little sense to my role as my mother's caregiver. This one, though, made some sense. I don't think it was "the stars" so much as maybe an intelligent universe saying to me, "We took note of your frenzy last night, heard what you had to say. Calm down. Everything will be all right."
I'm calm. One way or another, everything is always all right, a least this is what my mother assures me.
Time to awaken an all right Mom.
Later.
