Monday, July 12, 2004
Just for fun, thought I'd mention...
...I tangled myself into a sort of mini-cause regarding Hidden Valley Original Ranch Salad Dressing Mix as I was reporting on Mom's dinner stats tonight. It will be continued. In the meantime, tonight's stats were very interesting. The challenge continues, taking yet another turn, explanation at the previously mentioned link.
Yes, we're still up, both of us. I'm sure we'll get a late start tomorrow, which is okay. Our plans for tomorrow fell through at the last minute and this weekend has been so intense, with Mom being livelier than usual and me needing to negotiate the less pleasant consequences of this and wanting to take advantage of the more pleasant consequences and keep her up and keep her moving that I haven't had time to look for some paperwork I need to find for the possible sale of our mobile home in Mesa. Tomorrow will be a good time to do that even though I'm going to try to get her out walkering tomorrow. I want movement to become a habit for her again.
She's delightfully confident when she's walkering. It's not unusual for her to walker away from me, attracted by the sights and sounds around her. She didn't do this when she used the wheelchair as a walker. With this real walker she knows where she is in relation to her machine and where it is in relation to her environment. I think, too, some of it has to do with her feeling of safety with me, which pleases me. She knows my world revolves around her: That where ever she goes, whatever she does, I am bound, literally, to be close by, thus, she feels safe. I hadn't thought about this until today when she wheeled away from me at the first store we visited and I had to look for her. When I spotted her I didn't rush her. I lingered a ways away, letting her be herself without any more impingement than using a walker implies. After some seconds she glanced at me and the look told me that she knew I'd be close by. Then she continued prowling the shelves along the aisle, caught up in her own interests.
I have always felt, since before I can remember, that I am, somehow, protected in a lot of situations wherein others would be so cautious as to not enter into those situations if they could help it. I have, as well, felt that in such situations anyone who is with me is protected. Today considered that it may not be that I've been protected but that I have the natural qualities of a protector, able to not only protect myself but those with me. I continued thinking that this must be what parents feel and reflected upon what I've been told by those I know well who are parents. I realized that it isn't necessarily true that people tend to feel they are natural protectors when they become parents but that they are designated protectors and must "study" the task in order to perform it. That's not how I feel. I feel as though I just do it, as though I was born with the gift of protection. Very, very nice realization, considering what I'm doing now. Maybe, I'm thinking, this is one of the reasons my mother honed in on me when she decided she no longer wanted to live alone. I'm pleased I can bring this gift, this talent, this skill, whatever it is, to bear on her life now.
Later.
Yes, we're still up, both of us. I'm sure we'll get a late start tomorrow, which is okay. Our plans for tomorrow fell through at the last minute and this weekend has been so intense, with Mom being livelier than usual and me needing to negotiate the less pleasant consequences of this and wanting to take advantage of the more pleasant consequences and keep her up and keep her moving that I haven't had time to look for some paperwork I need to find for the possible sale of our mobile home in Mesa. Tomorrow will be a good time to do that even though I'm going to try to get her out walkering tomorrow. I want movement to become a habit for her again.
She's delightfully confident when she's walkering. It's not unusual for her to walker away from me, attracted by the sights and sounds around her. She didn't do this when she used the wheelchair as a walker. With this real walker she knows where she is in relation to her machine and where it is in relation to her environment. I think, too, some of it has to do with her feeling of safety with me, which pleases me. She knows my world revolves around her: That where ever she goes, whatever she does, I am bound, literally, to be close by, thus, she feels safe. I hadn't thought about this until today when she wheeled away from me at the first store we visited and I had to look for her. When I spotted her I didn't rush her. I lingered a ways away, letting her be herself without any more impingement than using a walker implies. After some seconds she glanced at me and the look told me that she knew I'd be close by. Then she continued prowling the shelves along the aisle, caught up in her own interests.
I have always felt, since before I can remember, that I am, somehow, protected in a lot of situations wherein others would be so cautious as to not enter into those situations if they could help it. I have, as well, felt that in such situations anyone who is with me is protected. Today considered that it may not be that I've been protected but that I have the natural qualities of a protector, able to not only protect myself but those with me. I continued thinking that this must be what parents feel and reflected upon what I've been told by those I know well who are parents. I realized that it isn't necessarily true that people tend to feel they are natural protectors when they become parents but that they are designated protectors and must "study" the task in order to perform it. That's not how I feel. I feel as though I just do it, as though I was born with the gift of protection. Very, very nice realization, considering what I'm doing now. Maybe, I'm thinking, this is one of the reasons my mother honed in on me when she decided she no longer wanted to live alone. I'm pleased I can bring this gift, this talent, this skill, whatever it is, to bear on her life now.
Later.
