Friday, April 16, 2004
I'm stretching luxuriously into the morning...
...today. I'm nursing my second cup of coffee (my first cup without grounds inadvertently dumped into it), noticing the wind outside, wondering what sort of activities I can plan for today.
Mom slept most of yesterday but was nicely alert and active when she was up. She ate well. Finally had a (non-accidental) bowel movement, which dehydrated her almost immediately. Asked, yet again, for another tuna melt at dinner. I guess she's been needing fish. I've taken note of this and I think we'll visit the fish counter at Costco on our next trip.
I'm watching the weather. The wind is expected to continue. High 69 but I doubt it will feel more than 60 up here. Rain is predicted for tomorrow so if there's anything we need to do that involves a trip away from the house we'd better do it today.
I found a bargain DVD copy of the movie All That Jazz tucked behind a whole bunch of more popular movies at Costco the other day. I picked it up and we watched it last night. It surprises me that she likes this movie so much. It's sardonic and dark (visually and in other ways). As usual, she didn't remember previous viewings (2 or 3) but was specific about expressing her pleasure when the movie was over. As usual, the ending surprised and delighted her. As the final number began she said, as always, "He's not going to make it, this time." Then, at the end, when the body bag closes, she always turns and beams a self-satisfied smile at me. Last night I showed her that on DVD we can access the individual song-and-dance numbers and watch just those. She was thrilled even though she's seen me access just the shark and sea turtle sequences in Finding Nemo any number of times. She's not a "Bruce" and "Crush" fan, though. Her tastes run more to "Airotica" and "Bye Bye Love". Funny, funny woman.
Which reminds me. Mom and Men. Some nights ago Mom and I got into a discussion about her romantic (in the sense of love) life. It started when I asked Mom why she married Dad.
My mother does not readily warm to divulging internal reasoning but she does eventually relax if it's a member of the family who's doing the questioning and she isn't in her "on" mood, in which she becomes pert and sly and coy and generally entertains the troops. She looked at me askance and said, as though it was perfectly obvious, "Because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him."
"[Mom's sister] always told me that you were "popular with the boys". I was just wondering, why Dad? How many proposals did you receive before him?"
Again, head cocked askance. "Oh, goodness, child, I don't know. Too many too count."
"I remember," I prod, "the story behind Donald Stonehink. The business with the shoes, you know, his and yours were side by side on the porch and he made some remark about how he looked forward to baby shoes being there?"
Mom snickered. "Oh, yes. I remember him."
"Are you considering that one of your proposals, or are you only counting the formal ones?"
"I suppose that's one, yes. There were lots of men who wanted to marry me." She said this matter-of-factly.
"Dad wasn't a formal proposal, though, was he?"
"Oh, I don't remember..."
"Well, I do. You were in Pensacola, he was in Maryland and he called you and said that if you guys wanted to get your names on the housing list (for USN housing) you had to be married."
She chuckled. "Yes. That's right."
"So, do you think you ever broke anyone's heart?"
She looked at me as though I was being absurd, it could only be considered a privilege to be in love with and date her. "Oh course not!"
"Do you remember," I prompted her, "years ago when you, me and two of my sisters were at the kitchen table talking and you said that if you had been born and been of reproductive age 'now' that you would not get married but have loads of kids and raise them on your own?"
She laughed. "No! I don't remember that!"
"Well, think about it. How do you feel about that, now?"
She did think about it. "I don't think I'd do that, now."
"Would you still want to have kids?"
She practically snorted. "Well, of course."
"If you met Dad again, would you marry him, again?"
She looked away from me to considere this. "Yes, I think so."
"A long time ago, I suggested to you that Dad was more in love with you than you were with him. Do you remember that?"
"Vaguely." She was looking through me.
"I never really asked you what you thought about that. Do you think he was more in love with you than you were with him?"
She looked away. Her voice was strong. "No."
I'd love to ask my mother if she was a virgin when she married. You have to remember, although my mother was a housewife in the 50's, she was not a 50's housewife. She was 10 to 15 years older than all the mothers of all my other friends. She lived in communities, as well, where many of the wives/mothers worked. She was known in her youth to be daring, physically assertive, sometimes aggressive and rebellious. She would have been 12 - 15 during the height of the flapper era. It was during this time that she painted her bedroom black. She has a highly developed romantic (in the sense of adventurous) soul and I assume that she began developing this early by personal preference. It would surprise me if she had been a virgin when she married. However, one never knows. I don't know if I'll ever ask her. I'm sure she won't ever volunteer the information.
I want to water the roses before full sun this morning. I hear, too, what may be a reconnaissance cough.
Later.
Mom slept most of yesterday but was nicely alert and active when she was up. She ate well. Finally had a (non-accidental) bowel movement, which dehydrated her almost immediately. Asked, yet again, for another tuna melt at dinner. I guess she's been needing fish. I've taken note of this and I think we'll visit the fish counter at Costco on our next trip.
I'm watching the weather. The wind is expected to continue. High 69 but I doubt it will feel more than 60 up here. Rain is predicted for tomorrow so if there's anything we need to do that involves a trip away from the house we'd better do it today.
I found a bargain DVD copy of the movie All That Jazz tucked behind a whole bunch of more popular movies at Costco the other day. I picked it up and we watched it last night. It surprises me that she likes this movie so much. It's sardonic and dark (visually and in other ways). As usual, she didn't remember previous viewings (2 or 3) but was specific about expressing her pleasure when the movie was over. As usual, the ending surprised and delighted her. As the final number began she said, as always, "He's not going to make it, this time." Then, at the end, when the body bag closes, she always turns and beams a self-satisfied smile at me. Last night I showed her that on DVD we can access the individual song-and-dance numbers and watch just those. She was thrilled even though she's seen me access just the shark and sea turtle sequences in Finding Nemo any number of times. She's not a "Bruce" and "Crush" fan, though. Her tastes run more to "Airotica" and "Bye Bye Love". Funny, funny woman.
Which reminds me. Mom and Men. Some nights ago Mom and I got into a discussion about her romantic (in the sense of love) life. It started when I asked Mom why she married Dad.
My mother does not readily warm to divulging internal reasoning but she does eventually relax if it's a member of the family who's doing the questioning and she isn't in her "on" mood, in which she becomes pert and sly and coy and generally entertains the troops. She looked at me askance and said, as though it was perfectly obvious, "Because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him."
"[Mom's sister] always told me that you were "popular with the boys". I was just wondering, why Dad? How many proposals did you receive before him?"
Again, head cocked askance. "Oh, goodness, child, I don't know. Too many too count."
"I remember," I prod, "the story behind Donald Stonehink. The business with the shoes, you know, his and yours were side by side on the porch and he made some remark about how he looked forward to baby shoes being there?"
Mom snickered. "Oh, yes. I remember him."
"Are you considering that one of your proposals, or are you only counting the formal ones?"
"I suppose that's one, yes. There were lots of men who wanted to marry me." She said this matter-of-factly.
"Dad wasn't a formal proposal, though, was he?"
"Oh, I don't remember..."
"Well, I do. You were in Pensacola, he was in Maryland and he called you and said that if you guys wanted to get your names on the housing list (for USN housing) you had to be married."
She chuckled. "Yes. That's right."
"So, do you think you ever broke anyone's heart?"
She looked at me as though I was being absurd, it could only be considered a privilege to be in love with and date her. "Oh course not!"
"Do you remember," I prompted her, "years ago when you, me and two of my sisters were at the kitchen table talking and you said that if you had been born and been of reproductive age 'now' that you would not get married but have loads of kids and raise them on your own?"
She laughed. "No! I don't remember that!"
"Well, think about it. How do you feel about that, now?"
She did think about it. "I don't think I'd do that, now."
"Would you still want to have kids?"
She practically snorted. "Well, of course."
"If you met Dad again, would you marry him, again?"
She looked away from me to considere this. "Yes, I think so."
"A long time ago, I suggested to you that Dad was more in love with you than you were with him. Do you remember that?"
"Vaguely." She was looking through me.
"I never really asked you what you thought about that. Do you think he was more in love with you than you were with him?"
She looked away. Her voice was strong. "No."
I'd love to ask my mother if she was a virgin when she married. You have to remember, although my mother was a housewife in the 50's, she was not a 50's housewife. She was 10 to 15 years older than all the mothers of all my other friends. She lived in communities, as well, where many of the wives/mothers worked. She was known in her youth to be daring, physically assertive, sometimes aggressive and rebellious. She would have been 12 - 15 during the height of the flapper era. It was during this time that she painted her bedroom black. She has a highly developed romantic (in the sense of adventurous) soul and I assume that she began developing this early by personal preference. It would surprise me if she had been a virgin when she married. However, one never knows. I don't know if I'll ever ask her. I'm sure she won't ever volunteer the information.
I want to water the roses before full sun this morning. I hear, too, what may be a reconnaissance cough.
Later.
