Mom & Me Two Archive

...Medicating Rhythm today. I guessed wrong on what her blood sugar would be this morning. I'm not going to bother to anchor the addendum. It's toward the end (obviously).

    I'm not sure how to approach this. Hmmmm...I suppose it would be safe to start with the subject of language. Specialized language. The specialized language of acupuncture. No. Here's where I'll start:

"It's been a dynamic week, acupuncturally speaking," I told the acupuncturist when she entered my treatment room. Her assistant had put me in what I call The Green Room, what another client calls The Fairy Room.
    The acupuncturist snort-laughed. Stick with me, here, I find her laugh one of her more endearing qualities.
    At this point you need to understand that while non-alternative medicine has a nodding, begrudging acquaintance with the spirituality of healing, acupuncture is dependent upon the recognition of the spiritual aspect of healing. Thus, the vocabulary, in order to emphasize this focus, is specialized. The two words I want to address are "allergy" and "clear". If you are familiar with Dianetics divest yourself of any connection to the concept of clearing in that discipline. Acupuncturally (used in honor of my acupuncturist's delight with this word), to be "cleared" of an "allergy"...let me think about this a minute so as to be as precise and obvious as possible...involves unraveling both its physical manifestations, which are often not obvious to a Westerner, and as well opening the client to spiritual areas connected to the physical manifestation so that, through this awareness, the entire problem can be addressed.
    In my mother's case her conscious, "headlight" awareness was not necessary to promote multi-level healing. It probably would have helped although, as I am learning from observation with her FT, it's possible that on a subconscious level my mother is taking an enthusiastic part in her healing.
    Anyway, once I understood the above concepts I was able to begin consciously participating in my acupunctural healing throughout the weeks between appointments. Specifically: I was able to pinpoint the allergies on which I needed to focus with acupunctural help and which I was brave enough to approach from a spiritual level and take an active role in clearing. Over the last few weeks the acupuncturist and I have taken a zig-zag approach toward a point that I finally reached on my own last Friday and with which I solicited her help today.
    As I list the spiritual aspect of the "allergies" we've been addressing, keep in mind that each of these allergies have been manifesting as sometimes debilitating, always baffling physical pain in the tops of my feet, the outer base of my thumbs, the outer base of my forefingers, down the outside of my left leg from knee to ankle and in my right shoulder. As the acupuncturist and I have connected specific spiritual "allergies" with specific physical pains, the acupuncturist has stimulated the connection between their physical manifestation and their spiritual irritation. Then, I've "worked" on these areas, spiritually and physically, between appointments. Throughout the treatment period each of these specific pains has gone through ups and downs and eventually begun to subside. Throughout my very intense treatments the following connections have been made:

• thumb and index finger joint pain = allergic reactions to finances/control
• foot pain, left outer leg pain = allergic reactions to self appreciation and self prioritizing (I disagreed with the first and argued with the second until I understood these two in connection with taking care of my mother)
• shoulder pain = (this, so far, is my own interpretation) allergic reactions to taking care of my mother/concern that I will not be able to lift the increasing load
• general physical lack of resistance/readiness of body to being hurt = (also, so far, my own interpretation) allergic reactions to mother and allergic reactions to making money from products of creativity

    Before I create an uproar with the announcement that I suggested to the acupuncturist today that I am "allergic" to my mother and to taking care of my mother, it is important that I stress that I am not suggesting, as well, that I do not love my mother, nor that I do not have the tenderest of feelings for her, nor that I do not continue to be awed by the personal value this experience of taking care of my mother as An Ancient One has for me, nor that I do not wish to continue to be her caregiver. It's rather like: Over-exposure to something can cause irritation. Long time residents of the Phoenix Metroplex are very aware of how the Valley, far from any longer being beneficial for asthma sufferers, can "cause" one to develop allergies if one doesn't already have them. It should not be a surprise to anyone who reflects a moment on the experience of caregiving that the intensity is bound to create some spiritual, thus physical, irritation. I suggested to the acupuncturist that my mother may also have developed allergies to me over the last 10 years, especially lately, as her sense of independence along with her physical mobility have improved. The acupuncturist promised to check her for this as soon as Mom came in for a tune-up, which will probably be week after next. I'm taking next week.
    When done well (I confirmed this perception with the acupuncturist) acupuncture not only asks for and rewards the client's internal work pursued between treatments. As treatments progress the client is able to utilize the treatments more skillfully and consciously. When I mentioned this to the acupuncturist she explained that the reason this is so: The body becomes used to being treated acupuncturally and "learns" how to best incorporate the bio-electrical (or, if you prefer, geo-magnetic) dynamics that are directed through application of the needles (or acupressure).
    I was wrong that today's treatment would be The Lavender Web. It was The Red Sting. At one point the application of one needle caused an intense stinging at another unpunctured site. When I mentioned it, thinking that the stinging was an insert point, the acupuncturist told me that, no, she hadn't needled me "there" but the stinging meant that "a meridian had opened up"...I believe she said. That specific sting traveled vertically on a radius of about 2 and a half inches and took about 30 seconds to subside. Although it would be hard for me to explain what 'opening a meridian' means I can tell you that from how it felt this choice of words makes sense to me.
    I explained to the acupuncturist today that the reason the particular issues mentioned above were the ones I was choosing to address at this time is that (I was more detailed with her) is that I have recently become aware that I need more physical and spiritual strength for the rest of this journey. I'm also beginning to look ahead to the journey I'll be taking that will be initiated by my mother's death. There are certain circumstances pre-caretaking that I do not want to repeat and certain circumstances that I want to bring into my life after my mother dies.

    Acupuncture is the healing technique that most easily addresses my own perception of my multi-leveled health. It very closely mimics how I heal myself (both physically and spiritually) and invites my thoughtful participation. Without being asked, as the acupuncture treatments allowed me to open up to a more conscious awareness of all the connections involved in healing, between appointments I spent a lot of thought time reasoning and feeling out the connections and, as well, a lot of physical time taking advantage of the ceasing of pain to retrain my muscles to work flexibly and with integrity and assurance. Both of these techniques continue to cross-translate into calmer spiritual perspectives and approaches as well as less painful, more productive and efficient physical movement.
    I have no doubt that if my acupuncturist were to read this she would probably correct a few of the explanations of the perceptions I have but I think that, overall, she would agree that this is a fair description of the scope of acupunctural treatment.
    I should mention, in case you're wondering. Yes, I have a completed essay entitled Doctors and Patience and it is ready to go. The thing is, it is in it's 3rd or 4th incarnation, I'm not sure which. The more thoughtful I become about this issue, the more careful I become about explicitness and the more I change things, rearrange things. Then, I become vengeful again and go back to the original, brilliantly snide draft, so, give me a little while longer. I want this essay to be more than just a rant.
    Speaking of which, the following is one aspect of acupuncture that I consider extremely enlightened. At one point early in my cumulative treatments when the acupuncturist and I were working to establish the spiritual issues that were mangling my connective tissues and weakening the ability of my muscles to work, I spewed possibilities forth for mutual consideration. Most of them were dismissed, especially one important one that will give you, the reader, an idea of the complexity of acupuncture's approach to the eccentricity of the individual. One of the things I orally "listed" was that I was "actively and consciously hating someone, had been for awhile and had every intention of continuing for some time to come." I added that although I didn't think this was an issue that needed acupunctural attention, I was willing to consider it, although I might, I continued, chose to live with the physical consequences of continuing to hate this person instead of healing. The acupuncturist responded by seriously considering what I'd told her and said, "No, that's not it." Acupuncture allows an extraordinary latitude of personal choice in what one chooses to consider a dis-ease. This is a relief to me, as I sense that my journey of hate is an important and valuable one.
    No, I do not hate my mother. Nor is it anyone in my family related by blood or marriage. There are many, many people in my life who are not The Hated. Don't even try to guess. You will be incorrect.
    Another satisfying day.
    Later.