Monday, January 5, 2004
A Typical Day Turns Atypical
I puttered, going through a few more boxes in back, putting things in temporary places until I get everything out and can shuffle stuff to permanent places. 45 minutes later I was overtaken by incredible tiredness and decided to lay down for about half an hour. I figured I would have no problem rousing a half hour later at 1800, since I'd be napping on a bed whose bedding was being washed and I wouldn't be terribly comfortable. Just to make sure I awoke in time to rally Mom to her evening regimen and give her some much needed awake time I set the alarm above my bed. I apparently turned it off in my sleep. At 2230 I awoke to a dark, quiet house. I realized I'd overslept, causing me to allow Mom a seven hour nap and messing up her food, fluid, face time, medication, movement and awake time schedules.
I didn't realize I was so tired but I've been burning the caretaking candle at both ends over the last week-plus so I'm not, in retrospect, surprised. By the time I awoke Mom had accomplished her second watershed of the day and her bed needed to be completely stripped, rewiped and remade. She was also ravenous so it was a challenge to keep her from eating for the half hour that her Glucotrol requires, although with all the hands-on attendance necessary, including a breathing treatment and her second basin-bath of the day, I only had to keep her away from food for ten minutes.
The clock just hooted midnight. She's sitting at the dinette table reading and drinking diet rootbeer. She's sufficiently fed, sufficiently clean and, despite her long rest, not at all inclined to move but that's all right I think. I'll be up for awhile but I've told her that if she decides she wants to crawl back into bed, she can. She may decide to stay up for awhile. She's pretty alert.
I have to be careful sometimes about overextending myself to the point where I feel as though I need a nap, as it is not uncommon that when I begin to feel the need for a nap (which tends to be rare...I don't actually like to nap unless I'm so tired I simply can't think beyond closing my eyes) what I probably really need is a good 5 or 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep and my body tends to see to it that I get what I need, come hell or high water. I do always remember this when a particular day turns toward napping but at the point where a nap seems imminent I also find it easy to convince myself that, this time, I won't turn off the alarm in my sleep; this time, I'll wake up on time. Well, this time I did and I didn't.
I sometimes wonder if this is how this will end: In an event that takes place on a day when I have worked myself into exhaustion, decide to take a "half-hour" nap, oversleep and awaken to Mom having died because I was so tired I simply didn't hear her call for help when some emergent situation developed while I was napping.
I didn't realize I was so tired but I've been burning the caretaking candle at both ends over the last week-plus so I'm not, in retrospect, surprised. By the time I awoke Mom had accomplished her second watershed of the day and her bed needed to be completely stripped, rewiped and remade. She was also ravenous so it was a challenge to keep her from eating for the half hour that her Glucotrol requires, although with all the hands-on attendance necessary, including a breathing treatment and her second basin-bath of the day, I only had to keep her away from food for ten minutes.
The clock just hooted midnight. She's sitting at the dinette table reading and drinking diet rootbeer. She's sufficiently fed, sufficiently clean and, despite her long rest, not at all inclined to move but that's all right I think. I'll be up for awhile but I've told her that if she decides she wants to crawl back into bed, she can. She may decide to stay up for awhile. She's pretty alert.
I have to be careful sometimes about overextending myself to the point where I feel as though I need a nap, as it is not uncommon that when I begin to feel the need for a nap (which tends to be rare...I don't actually like to nap unless I'm so tired I simply can't think beyond closing my eyes) what I probably really need is a good 5 or 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep and my body tends to see to it that I get what I need, come hell or high water. I do always remember this when a particular day turns toward napping but at the point where a nap seems imminent I also find it easy to convince myself that, this time, I won't turn off the alarm in my sleep; this time, I'll wake up on time. Well, this time I did and I didn't.
I sometimes wonder if this is how this will end: In an event that takes place on a day when I have worked myself into exhaustion, decide to take a "half-hour" nap, oversleep and awaken to Mom having died because I was so tired I simply didn't hear her call for help when some emergent situation developed while I was napping.
